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Beers to Impress Women

We are gonna try something a bit new…

Every week we’ll be offering some tips on how to be a better bachelor. We’ll be showing you how to get through that “I live off X-Box, Patron, and Ramen” stage a little easier. This week I’ll be showing you a few beers that you should know that’ll really knock some socks off, and a few that you should avoid.

Now I know you all think you are some kind of Beer Connoisseur because you like Guinness and Magic Hat, but let’s be real, you don’t know shit.

Mexican Beer
You could always be “that guy” and get a Dos Equis, but come on, let’s be a little different….

Corona
corona

Seriously?  What are you an idiot? Have you ever even tasted a Corona?
Here’s what drinking a Corona says: “I’m sick of Coors Light.” Do you want people thinking you drink Coors Light?
I’d suggest:

Sol
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It’s just as light as a Corona, but without the “piss soaked corn” flavor.  If you are at a Mexican joint without Sol, leave.

I also recommend Tecate,  Negro Modelo, and El Presidente (which is not really mexican, but who’s counting.)

German Beer
Germans make the best beer. Period. Helvetica. Period.
You cant really go wrong with a German brew, here are some faves:

Spaten Optimator
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This beer is a bit dark and VERY VERY strong. The name alone is enough to knock you on your ass. Make sure you get this beer on tap.  A pint glass is always better looking than swigging from a bottle. NOTE: any beer in the Spatan family is worth drinking.

Franzizkaner

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This is a sweeter wheat beer. This beer, like most German beers, is great for a chilly evening. You wont really want to chugging this beer though, it can hit your stomach pretty hard.

Warsteiner
warsteiner

This is a lighter German beer, but it’s still more delicious than any light beer I’ve ever drank.

American “Specialty” Beers
DRINK: Bluepoint, Sam Adams, Anchor Steam, Sierra Nevada, Brooklyn Brewery.
DON’T DRINK: Yuengling, Blue Moon, Magic Hat, Killians Irish Red.

Canadian Beers
Canadian beers are some of the most over rated beers in the world. Seriously, they are of such high quality, and are of a high quality. If you had to pick ONE, go with Moosehead. Molson is good, but not really.

Other Beers to Drink
Without going on and on about the topic, here are some other beers you NEED to try; Birra Moretti (Italian), Red Stripe (Jamacian), Smithwicks (Irish), Duvel (Belgian).

If you are going to take anything away from this post let it be this. TRY DIFFERENT BEERS IN DIFFERENT BARS. If your local watering hole offers 2 types of beer, find a better watering hole. Some of these beers might be a little more pricey than your Miller Lite, but come on, bars are more than a place to get drunk at, it’s a place to show off. So spend the extra buck, get a better beer, and impress some ladies with your delicate tastes. They eat it the fuck up.

6 comments
  • totalawk

    this could of been my favorite post ever, mostly because it’s about one of my favorite things ever…BUT

    you didn’t include my favorite beer, well brewery.
    Ommegang–perfect on any occasion

    and theres nothing wrong with magic hat, just get something other than Number 9. Circus Boy, Fat Angel, or any IPA–the list is endless

    Also, Saranac Brewery, Smutty Nose, and Dogfish Head are all fine microbrew American establishments….

    just saying

  • carlo

    Actually you are 100% right.

    thanks for pointing that out, though, I’m not much of a Dogfish head fan.

    so you are like 98% right.

  • totalawk

    like wise, but the people that do like it.. love it

    its all about preferences my dear friend.

  • http://www.facebook.com/JaneBlow JaneBlow

    psh, grab a friend or two and brew your own. I don’t even like beer (i know, i know) but I usually like home brews.

  • Phil Unofficial

    JACK DANIELS!!!!!!!!!!

  • Valerie

    If you REALLY want a good german beer, try Goeffel Kolsch. Hard to find in the US, but worth it once you do. Specific to the Koln region.

    Good on ya DAPS for recognizing the superiority of German beer. ::high five::