Grow A Beard To Get Chicks?
Women love beards. Some of the biggest sex symbols today are men with a lot of facial hair. Plenty of celebrities are growing out their beards to get with the times. You see more and more young adults with scruffy faces anywhere you go. They may look dirty, but they know what they’re doing. Look as disheveled and repulsive as possible, and the girls seem to get spaghetti legs over it. The trick is to not smell too bad.
Hey, ladieees
If you’re single and don’t have any reason to keep a shaved face, try out the bearded look. Put it to the test. Perhaps you’ll get more attention from the ladies. It’s certainly easy to do. Think about it. All you have to do is be lazy. Easy enough right? Women everywhere are declaring their love for this look, and if your sex life could use some improvement, you’ve got nothing to lose. Obviously, you’ll need some charm to win women over, but the facial hair could be the catalyst you need. Maybe the era of the Metrosexual is over. Please be true.
No commentsAllow Me to Reintroduce Myself.
You know what’s hard? (lololol hard) Being a man in the 21st century. I feel there’s too much pressure on 20 something guys in the 21st century. Look around. Life is crazy right now. My generation is trying to survive and prosper in this extremely hard economic times and I don’t mean just with our latest economic recession. Google ‘lost generation‘ and you’ll see a small glimpse of our current battle.
How do we become Men at a time like this? On the home front: my parents divorced at a young age but my dad was always involved with my life. We only lived together for 2 years of my life. I don’t think I was ever taught how to be a man. But is anyone actually taught that? Is it something you can actually teach? So I’ve just been existing as best I’ve known how. What it reminds me of is this story about some young rogue elephants.
Elephants are social creatures with defined roles for everyone in the herd.
The herd is matriarchal, dominated by mothers and aunties. When the male babies grow to adolescence, they are kicked out of the herd, leaving their sisters and mother behind.
We saw several of these lonely guys roaming around in the African bush today. They form bachelor herds that hang out together and wait for female elephants to go into heat.Like most teenagers, they are relatively harmless, ripping up bushes and pushing down trees as a way of showing off to one another. But occasionally one of them will go rogue. Some social gene in their brain fails to kick in and they run amok, creating havoc.
The usual remedy for a rogue elephant is to shoot it. Left to their own devices, they’ll destroy things and corrupt their peers. One creative solution for a bachelor herd that has been corrupted by a rogue is to bus in an elephant mother. Inevitably, the mother reestablishes order in the herd.
As I reflect on the state of the American teenager hanging out in herds that roam our nation’s malls and sneer at their elders, it seems to me that a good solution might be to parachute in a few mothers to reestablish order.
Is this my generation in 21st century America? Are we rowdy elephants acting out in society while at the same time struggling to make our own way in life?
I’ll be exploring all these themes and more in upcoming posts.
1 commentDon’t Currently Have a Girlfriend? Get into the Next Best Thing… a ‘Friends with Benefits’ Relationship.
At the moment I’m in between relationships. Sad I know. But that shouldn’t stop me from enjoying the finer things in life. And by finer things in life I mean, the only thing that really matters to all guys out there, PUSSY.
Your probably asking yourself “Friends with Benefits? Really?” Yes really. Don’t watch that horrid Justin Timberlake movie as an example of what to expect. According to a Michigan State University study 74 percent of Friends with Benefits relationships don’t destroy the friendship. YAY!
If romcoms are to be believed, FWB situations always end up with the friends living sexily ever after. Now, you’re savvy enough to know that’s super far-fetched—the same Michigan State study found that only 10 percent of FWB arrangements end in real romantic relationships.
But here’s the shocking part: They also found that just 26 percent of FWB actually ended in a wrecked friendship. Here’s a better way to look at it: 74 percent of FWB relationships DON’T destroy the friendship.
If you enter a Friends with Benefits relationship you have a 10% chance of becoming sweethearts (awww!) and a 74% chance of keeping your current friendship. Sounds win win, right? That’s because it is.
You have the math/ statistics in your corner so get out there and start some Friends with Benefiting!!
Here’s some good tips:
8 ways to turn a female friend into more (for all you guys out there)
or
From Gal Pal To Girlfriend…In 3 Easy Steps (for the ladies)
No commentsDear Parents: Please Don’t Show Your Daughters Any Disney Princess Movies. Thanks, Their Future Boyfriends.
I hate Disney cartoons.
Why? Because the themes and messages contained within these cartoons have and are continuing to destroy young girls’ attitudes about life and love. Each story has a handsome Prince entering a girls life solving all her problems and then they live happily ever after. Real life, which we’re all living in right now, is much much MUCH more complicated. There will never be a time in anyone on this planet’s life when their life will be problem free. When the Princess finally finds her Prince Charming they get married and the story ends. Yay no more problems. Wrong. Unlike Disney movies our lives aren’t 90 minute self contained stories. My grandparents have been married for 60 some years. Their story certainly didn’t end at happily ever after. Without them constantly battling life through think and thin I wouldn’t be here today.
Plus, these Disney Princes and Princesses are horrible horrible people. Check this out:
Don’t forget the Princes:
Are these the role models you want your daughter to have?
No commentsI Can Get You Over a Breakup.
Did you know time heals all wounds? Well it does. I can’t make it any simpler than that. Or maybe I can…
The further away, time-wise, you get from a catastrophic event the less it hurts. Oh it’ll always hurt. But the severity of that hurt will be so much less.
The key to getting to that comfortably numb state is distract your asshole brain from dwelling on the breakup. The sorrow that one feels after a breakup happens to us all. It’s a god damn stupid universally shared human experience like being born or like learning to walk. It happens to us all.
All of this advice is going to sound like ‘duh of course information’ but when your caught up in that breakup / your world is collapsing spiral, you can’t think of any of it on your own, you morose motherfucker.
This is going to sound corny and cliché but get out of your comfort zone, stupid! How did I venture out? I started going to the gym. Yeah I know. I hate the gym too. But it accomplishes two things. You’re getting out of your house (which is full of relationship memories. Hey, remember that time we banged on my ikea couch. That was fun.) and your working out which releases endorphins that naturally put you in a better mood. Not a happy mood but it’s much better than mopey.
To combat the lingering girlfriend presence I replaced all the photographs in my sweet apartment. If you have extreme hatred you can start getting rid of the furniture that reminds you of your ex. I didn’t go to this extreme but I did put up motivational posters allover my apartment to remind me of my inherent awesomeness. Here are a few:
Adult Toys You Should Have In Your Pool Right Now
No matter how old your are, toys in your pool are acceptable. And I’m not talking large blow up rings and pool floats. I’m talking about awesome toys that will be a conversation piece at your next BBQ.
Underwater Kaleidoscope- Tell me that this isn’t cool looking. It’s mad trippy and will bring an awesome ambiance to your night swimming party. Crank the tunes, smoke a little something naughty and see if the bathing suits fall off. (toy splash)
Floating Sofa- If I had a big enough pool, I’d be on this thing right now, sippin’ on a margarita and reading my book. It loos so relaxing. (Hammacher)
Texas Hold ‘Em Inflatable Poker Set- This thing looks friggin’ awesome, but how do the cards not get wet? And what if you need to go to the bathroom? Getting off it will 100% make the table sink and you’ll loose all your chips. I don’t know about this one but the concept is great. (Amazon)
Enjoy fellas!
(via: The Smoking Jacket)
No commentsWhen Is Enough, Enough?
Why do we continue to torture ourselves? What is it that we are so afraid of? I have been friend after friend after friend stay in a relationship that they are miserable in because they are scared. Scared of what?! Being alone? Itʼs the stupidest thing Iʼve ever heard of… And I can say that, I did the same thing.
“I feel like Iʼve wasted __ year(s) of my life on this person”. It doesnʼt have to be looked at from such a negative perspective. Not everyone who has a long term relationship is destined to be together. As with anything that is done in life, if at first you donʼt succeed try, try again. (Corniest cliche EVER i know) Itʼs not a waste if you take away your mistakes- and donʼt even try and say you didnʼt make any, because we all do. Learn from all of the things you did and didnʼt do in the relationship and apply them in the future.
So donʼt continue to torture yourself. If you arenʼt truly happy why waste your time and your partners and GET THE F*@#^ out of the relationship!
No comments
The Bachelor Bible
Life can be hard when your single, fortunately those of us at The Bachelor Bible have enough real world experience to guide you through the rough patches. Unless, your a loser, then we can't do anything for you. But don't leave, because there are plenty of half-naked women to beat one off to while you cry.