All of my friend will vouch for me, I’m usually the one falling asleep or passing out at parties. An, it’s not because I’m piss ass drunk it’s just that I can fall asleep ANYWHERE, and adding alcohol helps lot. Check out what this guys friend did to him when he passed out. Man, I’ve never been pranked this hardcore.
(via: brobible)
No commentsNow that Kristin Cavallari is off Dancing With the Stars, and is no longer engaged to Jay Cutler, she’s gotta do something right? How about strut herself in a sexy black dress around town like nothing is wrong? Yeah, that about sums it up.
Now that she’s been voted off that Dancing With the Stars garbage, poor Kristin Cavallari has to get back to the very difficult work of getting hernails done, waxing her lady parts and heading out to some expensiverestaurant like she deserves to be considered a celebrity. Poor thing is delusional, but she’s still kind of hot and I’m going to miss watching contraband youtube videos of her shaking her booty with whoever it was she was dancing with. (via: hollywoodtuna)
Everyone has gotten caught speeding, going through a red light, blowing a stop sign or double parking, but how many other laws have you broken and not even realize it?
6) Stealing Mad Wi-Fi Son!
Due to the current popularity of tiny computers and man’s relentless desire to watch nudity absolutely everywhere, Wi-Fi hotspot usage is on the rise. Unfortunately, with that comes the problem of people, knowingly or not, connecting to unsecure wireless networks without permission. It’s not like hacking the freaking Pentagon here — if you’re in public, your computer will automatically look for a signal and, if there’s no security (such as a password) to get online, you can connect to it in seconds.
Almost every state out there has regulations against unlawful access to computers and networks – a third-degree felony that carries with it a prison sentence of at least two years and up to 10 grand in fines. Yes, arrests for stealing Wi-Fi are rare because it’s difficult to catch someone in the act. But don’t go thinking that your Internet habits definitely won’t get you shanked in the prison courtyard someday. We know of at least four cases, from Florida, Illinois, Michigan and Alaska, where people were arrested for using someone else’s wireless Internet.
5) Singing ‘Happy Birthday’ in public.
Did you know that ‘Happy Birthday’ is copyrighted?
You can still sing it legally in the privacy of your own home, and you will probably get away with singing it out in the open, provided that you’re not on a reality TV show. Of course, if you’re anything like most small business owners, you’ll just pay up because you don’t want to face Time Warner in court. Enough of them pay royalties that the song garners a cool $2 million dollars a year in royalties.
4) Use a fake name on the internet.
No commentsThere are a lot of people on Twitter. There are a lot of celebrities. Most importantly, there are a lot of NFL players on there and most of them are pretty dam funny/interesting. Here are the Top 10, and you can check out the rest of the list here, according to Busted Coverage.
1) Chad Ochocinco @ochocinco – “Going to get a tall machiato from Starbucks,watch a lil film and listen to Pavarotti until it’s close to curfew time then leave (no cigar)”
2) Terrell Owens @TerrellOwens – “Eff this LA traffic!!!! Sumbody is picking me up next time! My tab rite now is 105.75 and I hvn’t even gotten 2 my damn destination!!!! W…”
3) Stevie Johnson @StevieJohnson13 – “Letting a fart out in a crowd thinkin it won’t smell. Next thing u kno 3 people are dead around you. #YoWhatHappened”
4) Rob Gronkowski @RobGronkowski – “Dolph Lundgren (Ivan Drago from rocky IV) RT @hannah519 My question is, who plays you in a movie about your life?”
5) Marcedes Lewis @MarcedesLewis99 – “Funny how I use to hate when my granny would turn to the ‘Golden Girls’…and now I can actually watch it…these old chics were comedy”
6) Steve Smith @SteveSmithNY – ‘Eagles have a great team as do we. They’ve had our number lately but until you win something major I don’t wanna hear it.”
7) Chris Kluwe @ChrisWarcraft – “Fun practice today. Pretty sure Dorothy blew past at one point. Luckily there was no sign of flying monkeys.”
8) Terrell Thomas @TerrellThomas24 – “Shorts sandals on my day off- check da weather dummy http://twitvid.com/7PIUK”
9) Rey Maualuga @maualuga58 – “Love them Haters! Y’all make my job so easy! Love y’all!”
10) Antonio Cromartie @A_Cromartie31 “U all remember when u was growing up and u would get a spankin by the ppl in your community and then they told on you and u got another one…Now ppl in the community don’t care about nothing but themselves…it’s a crazy crazy world that we live in…”
No commentsSo Thursday night, yours truly went to a bar and realized 30 seconds into it, that it was ladies night.
Ladies night is a sausage fest for guys. In a way, it’s kind of sad ladies going out to have fun and them every guy and their brother is trying to hump these girls. Guys relax.
I understand that ladies night be your chance to get laid, but your crowd-sourcing (big word there) the wrong venue. After a stressful week I just needed a beer and went out with a female friend but god damn!
If you need to get laid so badly, go to Atlantic City or Vegas. Please do not be a sucker for these ladies nights.
What about guys night? Guys should pay less once it a while! It’s a gimmick, and just a cash cow for these bars.
In researching this article I used foursquare to prove my point and I checked in and this is what I got:
OK. Not really but, I did visit Beantown this past week. As much as I hate the Patriots and Red Sox, Boston was actually not to bad to visit this past week. It was my first visit so I was excited. Note: I stayed in Cambridge, Boston was a 10 minute walk away. Let’s recap some cool places to visit:
1) Fenway Park Located at 4 Yawkey Way. It has served as the home ballpark of the Boston Red Sox club since it opened in 1912, and is the oldest baseball stadium currently in use, as well as being the only of the original standard ballparks still in use. It was a great time being in the Death Star but I, Luke, buried my Yankees hat somewhere. Don’t tell anyone.
2) Cheers Beacon Hill on Beacon Street in Boston/Bull & Finch Pub: The show used the Bull & Finch outside shots of the namesake bar Cheers.
3) Boston Beer Works: Just for the Blueberry Beer.
4) Asgard Irish Pub & Restaurant: Irish theme restauarant where the beers are top-notch and the food is INCREDIBLE. No pic needed.
5) Sam Adams Brewery: For a 2 dollar “donation” you can drink beer. As Charlie Sheen says #winning
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Ah, the strip club. Every guys home away from home. A place to get away from the nagging wife or girlfriend. It’s our happy place, besides our man-cave. I know some creeps go to strip clubs to find their future wife, but it doesn’t work out like that. Here are some tips so you don’t get your ass kicked by the Michael Strahan looking bouncer.
1) Stay Sober: Nobody likes a mumbling talking idiot or the hopeless romantic who thinks he can sway these women away into a better life.
2) Time is Money: If you don’t keep the dollars, you will be overlooked not by one girl, but all of them. They talk to each other in the back you know. Prepare to use your ATM card if you have to, this is a business and people are looking to make money here.
3) Obey The Rules: Some clubs let you touch but only the hip area. If you are not sure, DON’T TOUCH, unless she tells you it’s ok. Usually if she does its in the back room and you are paying some cash for it.
4) Be Nice: If a certain dancer doesn’t appeal to you, simply smile and say no thank you.
5) TIP: Most girls makes their money backstage in the VIP area so tip as much as possible. Food for thought, dancers are considered independent contractors and have to pay rent for the space they work in.
If you run out of money, go home. There is something called porn.
No commentsSo once in a while us bachelors need to wine and dine our lady friends in the city and take them to a Broadway show. Some shows are really not for us, we all know that but there are some shows out there that us guys will enjoy also!
1) American Idiot: If you are a Green Day fan then you will surely enjoy this show. This show is the American Idiot CD with a few additional songs but transformed into a Broadway show. It tells the story of Johnnie and his two friends…I will stop right there. Its a must see show on Broadway right now. Please go see it with an open mind.
2) Rock of Ages: The musical features songs from Styx, Journey, Bon Jovi, Pat Benatar, Twisted Sister, Steve Perry, Poison and Asia, between other well-known rock bands. It really is a great show if you love music from the 80′s. At one point during the show the crowd actually started to sing along. It’s a rock opera on Broadway that always brings the house down!
3) Million Dollar Quartet: So recently Adam of Avon Junkies saw this play and I was curious on what it was all about and I checked it out and just wow! Million Dollar Quarter is about the recording session that brought together rock ‘n’ roll icons Elvis Presley, Johnny Cash, Jerry Lee Lewis and Carl Perkins for the first and only time. How can you beat that!
4) Rain: A Tribute to the Beatles: A tribute to the Fab Four that uses video and sound projections, Rain follows the Beatles from their first visit to the States till their 1970 breakup. The show features original Beatles songs performed live.
5) Blue Man Group: This play is based around three “main characters” called Blue Men, who appear in black clothing and blue paint over bald caps and play a mixture of percussive instruments. Just get ready for loud music and a rocking good time. Who knows you might even get called to stage to jam with them like my friend Stephanie did!
No commentsThey say opposites attract, and whoever “they” are, are right. Maybe having too much in common with someone can become boring and routine, so opposites can seem exciting. However, with opposites, differences can (and probably will) turn into arguments. I will admit, sometimes I do enjoy a good argument, especially when I know Iʼm right, but arguing doesnʼt solve ANYTHING. Best thing to do? Compromise, compromise, compromise! If you want any relationship to work, sometimes you just have to suck up your pride and find that happy medium where the both of you are comfortable. If you arenʼt willing to compromise, then you may just have to cut your losses and move on. You canʼt expect your partner to compromise their beliefs/routines/etc. if you arenʼt willing to do the same with yours.
When having this conversation, start off by saying something along the lines of, “I know you arenʼt happy with the way _________is, do you have any suggestions on how we can fix this problem? How about ___________.”
Yes, this might sound a bit text-book boring, but throwing in unnecessary words will only cause more problems. By you being the bigger person and starting off the compromise, it will show that you care and are willing to make things work. Hopefully they will reciprocate.
If not? On to the next one, on to the next one…
No commentsAfter a long weekend of drinking, this includes Friday night and all day Saturday, I wondered to myself, ‘How do I know when enough is enough?’ I do not support drinking and driving whatsoever, so I try to balance my drinking with the time I’m leaving the party. If I can’t drive, I stay to sober up.
1) Eat before you drink: Eat pizza,wings,or some types of bar food to coat your stomach.
2) Remember this: Liquor before beer, never fear. Beer before liquor, never sicker.
3) Pace yourself: If you are socially drinking with friends don’t pound beers to be a big-shot. Take your time.
4) If you cannot walk or talk straight don’t drive: Call a buddy if needed.
5) If you really are unsure about drinking/driving buy one of these: personal breathalyzer test.
Simple as that. Now I’m off to have another cold one.
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The Bachelor Bible
Life can be hard when your single, fortunately those of us at The Bachelor Bible have enough real world experience to guide you through the rough patches. Unless, your a loser, then we can't do anything for you. But don't leave, because there are plenty of half-naked women to beat one off to while you cry.