Log in

admin

The Hoe Phone

Today’s question comes from Billy in Cleveland, Ohio.

Dear Brendan:

I recently started dating a girl, and I think it is getting pretty serious. I really like her a lot but we had a fight the other day after she saw a text convo I had with a girl I used to date. She told me I needed to stop talking to all the girl I’ve dated in the past if our relationship is going to work. I don’t want to screw this up, but at the same time, some of these girls have become friends and I would feel bad about cutting them out of my life. What should I do?

Well Billy, I know it sounds harsh but your problem is not an uncommon one. Sometimes women have a habit of being incredibly insecure. And in all fairness, you would probably be upset if she was talking to some guy that she used to play backseat rodeo with. And even though all hope seems to be lost, I think I could help you. Billy, what you need is a ‘Hoe Phone.’ A hoe phone is a pre-paid phone that your girlfriend should never know about.  Have you ever heard about men having hidden bank accounts? Well imagine this as your hidden skank account.

Continue reading this post →

No comments

Buying Clothes With Booze Money

I know, I know, the title is pretty jarring. I hope I haven’t offended anybody with it; just hear me out. Being a single dude isn’t easy these days. Your game needs to be carefully choreographed; everything you say and do is up for immediate judgment by the receptive party. However, there is a very powerful and effective weapon in the arsenal of a bachelor – alcohol! A girl will usually say yes to a drink offered to them, and it helps ease the mood by miles.

Great success, right? Sure… but how many girls have you gotten shitfaced on first meeting and then turned into your girlfriend? I’m sure some of you might say, “Hey! that’s how I met my girl!” and it’ll be awkward for a minute; but the truth of the matter is that this situation doesn’t always become much more. Luckily, there’s another way to grab some fly honey’s attention – dress nicer! I defy you to find a stand-up lady who can honestly say that they don’t care how a guy looks when he’s talking to her. It’s just how things work, girls like associating themselves with guys who know how to dress. This calls for a re-management of your funds! Let’s take some money out of your ‘buy girls drinks’ budget, and throw it into your wardrobe cash.

***I am going to assume that you all know your sizes, and buy the right size jeans and shirts. If your clothing is too baggy or tight on you, it’s not flattering. Respect your size!***

Continue reading this post →

1 comment