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Posted on Aug 19, 2011 by — advice — Add your take!

I Can Get You Over a Breakup.

Did you know time heals all wounds? Well it does. I can’t make it any simpler than that. Or maybe I can…
The further away, time-wise, you get from a catastrophic event the less it hurts. Oh it’ll always hurt. But the severity of that hurt will be so much less.

The key to getting to that comfortably numb state is distract your asshole brain from dwelling on the breakup. The sorrow that one feels after a breakup happens to us all. It’s a god damn stupid universally shared human experience like being born or like learning to walk. It happens to us all.

All of this advice is going to sound like ‘duh of course information’ but when your caught up in that breakup / your world is collapsing spiral, you can’t think of any of it on your own, you morose motherfucker.

This is going to sound corny and cliché but get out of your comfort zone, stupid! How did I venture out? I started going to the gym. Yeah I know. I hate the gym too. But it accomplishes two things. You’re getting out of your house (which is full of relationship memories. Hey, remember that time we banged on my ikea couch. That was fun.) and your working out which releases endorphins that naturally put you in a better mood. Not a happy mood but it’s much better than mopey.

To combat the lingering girlfriend presence I replaced all the photographs in my sweet apartment. If you have extreme hatred you can start getting rid of the furniture that reminds you of your ex. I didn’t go to this extreme but I did put up motivational posters allover my apartment to remind me of my inherent awesomeness. Here are a few:

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Posted on Jun 13, 2011 by — advice — Add your take!

When Is Enough, Enough?

Why do we continue to torture ourselves? What is it that we are so afraid of? I have been friend after friend after friend stay in a relationship that they are miserable in because they are scared. Scared of what?! Being alone? Itʼs the stupidest thing Iʼve ever heard of… And I can say that, I did the same thing.

“I feel like Iʼve wasted __ year(s) of my life on this person”. It doesnʼt have to be looked at from such a negative perspective. Not everyone who has a long term relationship is destined to be together. As with anything that is done in life, if at first you donʼt succeed try, try again. (Corniest cliche EVER i know) Itʼs not a waste if you take away your mistakes- and donʼt even try and say you didnʼt make any, because we all do. Learn from all of the things you did and didnʼt do in the relationship and apply them in the future.

So donʼt continue to torture yourself. If you arenʼt truly happy why waste your time and your partners and GET THE F*@#^ out of the relationship!

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Posted on Mar 17, 2011 by — advice — Add your take!

What About Us?

Break-ups are usually tough on everyone. Itʼs not easy to go through a break-up without a battle scar; some donʼt but most do. And surprisingly the two people who were dating aren’t the only two people who get hurt when a break-up occurs.

If youʼve been dating someone for a long period of time and theyʼve gotten close with your friends and then you break up it can be hard on them too. When hanging out in large groups and when your friends with both people it may even feel like your apart of the relationship. When they fight you get stuck in the middle hearing both sides of the story trying to give advise without taking sides, when theyʼre happy your happy etc.

But what are you supposed to do when they break up?

Itʼs a sticky situation- trust me Iʼve been there. Often whoever you knew first will want you to stop talking to the other person because “youʼve known them longer”, which is a fucking stupid reason if you ask me. I will admit though, itʼs awkward but it does make sense (itʼs just stupid that your friend would ask you to stop talking to someone else just because they donʼt like them anymore, but thats a different story).

I will say this, donʼt lie. Donʼt tell one of them that you arenʼt talking to the other person anymore if you are- it WILL get ugly. Be there for your friends and help them get through but remember itʼs not YOUR relationship itʼs theirs and your the friend.

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Posted on Sep 02, 2010 by — advice — Add your take!

Breaking Up Is Hard To Do

I know this is supposed to be advice (or at least my thoughts) on dating, relationships, and sex. What about when your relationship comes to an end? And not just any end, a crash and burn, massive car pile-up, train wreck, house fire of an end. We all know there are two kinds of break-ups, the mature-civil ones (that very rarely IF ever seem to actually happen) and then the other ones (see my above description).
Regardless of how it happens, break-ups SUCK ASS. And our friends who are supposed to be there to console us during these rough times sometimes only make you feel worse. Throwing cliches out there like “There are many fish in the sea” and “You have to go through the wrong ones before you find the right ones”. LIES. A bunch of bullshit. I’m not Nemo, I donʼt live in the sea, and I donʼt want to go through all the wrong ones. (Note: Usually the friends with these cliches havenʼt been in a real relationship since kissing Michael behind the monkey bars in junior high school).


Best way to get over a bad break-up? Time. (Or as someone JUST told me, “The best cure for old pussy, is new pussy.”) Depending on how long you were with someone, it could take a long time to fully recover. If you donʼt feel up to dating right away, then donʼt let your friends set you up on a blind date. The post break-up random drunk bar hook-up isnʼt always a good idea either. Then youʼll just wake up with a hangover laying next to someone you canʼt remember their name and still depressed.
What Iʼm really saying is tell your friends to go scratch. Self-loathing will only make you feel worse. Keep your day to day routine. But ALWAYS make sure that if you break-up that itʼs for good, because once you end it if you try to go back it will never be the same.
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