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Smarting Up Your Look

Sadly, there was no question this week so I figured I would talk about something every bachelor should know. So this weeks topic is smarting up your look.

Ok boys, your becoming men, and the best way to show it is through the way you dress. First impressions mean almost everything, so it’s important you don’t screw this up. Ready? Good, because we are going shopping. Only this time, we are going to do it a little different. This time we are going to walk right past stores like Hot Topic, Old Navy, and Modells. From now on, you live in Macy’s, The GAP, and Banana Republic. And most importantly, do not be fooled by make-believe grown-up stores like Express an Guess. These stores only sell clothing with retched designs all over them, and are only appealing to jerk-offs and teenagers.

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Let’s start with shirts and sweaters. I know you love you I <3 BEER t-shirt that your room-mate got you Sophomore year because you did the longest keg-stand, but it’s time to throw it away. In fact, all graphic tee’s should be hidden or discarded immediately. Don’t worry, you can still wear t-shirts, but keep them plain. One solid color, with no logo on them. I recommend V-necks because they make your neck look longer and they are a lot more comfortable. Same goes for sweaters, keep them simple so they are easy to build an outfit around. I’d also go V-neck with these, throw a plain white t-shirt underneath and your good to go.

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Buying Clothes With Booze Money

I know, I know, the title is pretty jarring. I hope I haven’t offended anybody with it; just hear me out. Being a single dude isn’t easy these days. Your game needs to be carefully choreographed; everything you say and do is up for immediate judgment by the receptive party. However, there is a very powerful and effective weapon in the arsenal of a bachelor – alcohol! A girl will usually say yes to a drink offered to them, and it helps ease the mood by miles.

Great success, right? Sure… but how many girls have you gotten shitfaced on first meeting and then turned into your girlfriend? I’m sure some of you might say, “Hey! that’s how I met my girl!” and it’ll be awkward for a minute; but the truth of the matter is that this situation doesn’t always become much more. Luckily, there’s another way to grab some fly honey’s attention – dress nicer! I defy you to find a stand-up lady who can honestly say that they don’t care how a guy looks when he’s talking to her. It’s just how things work, girls like associating themselves with guys who know how to dress. This calls for a re-management of your funds! Let’s take some money out of your ‘buy girls drinks’ budget, and throw it into your wardrobe cash.

***I am going to assume that you all know your sizes, and buy the right size jeans and shirts. If your clothing is too baggy or tight on you, it’s not flattering. Respect your size!***

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