Cincinnati VS Cleveland- This Sunday at my house was a family event which meant a whole new set of people with different gambling implications and games they needed to watch. As a result we watched a whole bunch of this game as my uncles claimed the Bengals were “a lock this week”. They somehow eeked out a win but were unable to cover the spread. The first of many great gambling calls by my uncle. Andy Dalton looked good and if we redrafted the 2011 NFL draft today I imagine he’d be a top 5 pick along with Cam Newton, Von Miller, Patrick Peterson and A.J Green.
Titans VS Bucs- Welcome back Chris Johnson, we missed you. We now have a time table for how long it takes to get back into game shape after missing all of training camp; 10 weeks. Too bad all of your fantasy owners are in dead last after selecting you in the top 5 of their drafts. This game ended with a 4th and 1 in a torrential downpour with the clock running and the Bucs deciding to run one of the worst 4th down plays I have ever seen and not only didn’t make the yard they needed they lost 3 yards. Game: Titans.
Atlanta VS Minnesota- Roddy White went into pure Beast Mode for this game. He had by my own estimates 290 receiving yards and 4 touchdowns. Minnesota did their best, Percy Harvin had a big boy game but without Adrian Peterson the Vikings just didn’t have enough firepower to stay with the Falcons.
Arizona VS St. Louis- Beanie Wells sucks. I don’t care if he had 200+ rushing yards in this game, I refuse to believe he is any good. Patrick Peterson however is really good. He had his 3rd punt return of the year for a touchdown and I can promise next year that Steve Spagnuolo will have his punter kick the ball out of bounds every time and take his chances with the Cardinals offense rather than let Peterson beat him again.
Houston VS Jacksonville- Matt Leinert broke his collarbone in this game 2 weeks after Matt Schuab broke his foot. Rumors that Brett Favre is flying to Houston are unsubstantiated.
Panthers VS Colts- The Colts gave a valiant effort but are 5 weeks away from having to engage in an awkward conversation with Peyton Manning asking him to retire so Andrew Luck can play. Reports of a Deangelo Williams fantasy relevance sighting cannot be confirmed at this time.
Jets VS Bills- Around 2 PM my Facebook newsfeed blew up with Jet fans calling for Mark Sanchez’s head on a platter. In the end he threw 4 touchdowns including the game winner and his team survived another week. However it all would have been for naught if Stevie Johnson had managed to hold onto a perfectly thrown ball from my favorite Ryan Fitzpatrick. Johnson had 2 steps on anyone from the Jets and let the ball go right threw his hands ruining an otherwise solid performance against the world’s only shutdown corner Darrell Revis. Maybe he will blame God again for this drop.
Oakland VS Chicago- Sebastian Janikowski kicked 6 field goals and led to a 10 minute debate as to whether that was a smart pick by the Raiders selecting him in the first round 7 years ago. I still say no. The game ended when the Bears backup QB was unable to execute a clock killing spike to give the team another play at the end of the game. Weird.
Washington VS Seattle- The Seahawks were the second of my uncle’s “locks of the week”. Naturally the Redskins not only beat the spread but also beat the Seahawks. The lesson from this game; when you lay 4 points you better do so with a QB of a higher quality than Tavaris Jackson.
New England VS Philadelphia- The Pats laid the wood to the Eagles this week and hopefully killed any chance “The Dream Team” has of making the playoffs. Vince Young is unable to make even the most basic throws. This game was just a barrage of Desean Jackson and Brent Celek shaking their heads as balls bounced at their feet or flew 3 feet over their heads. The Pats receivers feel the opposite as every ball seems to hit them perfectly in their hands in stride. With the fantasy playoffs coming up in 2 weeks I suggest everyone who hasn’t already go grab Tom Brady as he is totally awesome.
This is the picture of a man whose quarterback cant get him the ball
Denver VS San Diego- This was my uncles 3rd “lock of the week” and if you haven’t figured out the theme of his picks so far he LOVED the Chargers. His logic being that the Chargers would put up too many points for Tim Tebow to even mount a comeback. This is a solid argument but it ignores a few basic facts. First, Phil Rivers sucks. This is something most people outside of San Diego and his fantasy owners don’t realize yet but he does. Also the Denver defense is really good. It’s so good in fact that I’m sure Kyle Orton was sitting in the locker room in Kansas City bitching that he’d still be the starter in Denver if their defense played like this when he was there. The last thing my uncle didn’t take into account was that “it’s biggest Tebow time, it’s daddy’s favorite quarterback”. Look, I can’t explain this Tebow thing so I have chosen to just enjoy it and I recommend you do the same.
For your viewing pleasure, Nikki Cox
She was hot in the 90s, trust me
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