HOSTING THE SUPER BOWL - Gentlemen, it is the first week of February and the count down has begun. We are only days away from greatness and I'm begining to get that feeling that only comes around but once a year. We get to watch the fu**ing Super Bowl!

The NFL Super Bowl is considered one of, if not, the greatest sporting event in the history of professional sports. And in some houses, Super Bowl Sunday is the biggest event of the year. That being said, there are very few things people appreciate more than a guy who throws an awesome Super Bowl Party, and you want that guy to be you.

Hosting the Super Bowl has it’s pros and cons. For example, the food could get costly, but at least you’ll like everything there is to eat. Beer could get expensive, so make sure you put in place a strict BYOB rule. The biggest benefit of hosting the big game is if your a fan, you can get trashed, enjoy yourself and not have to worry about driving home. The only thing that sucks is the clean up after the game. Now, if you don’t like football, then eat a fu**ing dick, read something else. I’m sure one of the girls on this site wrote something interesting about their monthly cycle. Don’t get me wrong, I’d love to keep you as readers, but this is obviously not for you, so until next week, I’m sure you can keep yourself busy by watching Waiting To Exhale for the 5000th time.

Moving on, let’s talk about a few things you could do to make sure that your party this Sunday is the best it can be. For starters, hosting the Super Bowl is not like hosting a normal Man-Day. Unlike Man-Day, women will be allowed to attend this party, but there are rules.

1. They must do their best to remain as quiet as possible throughout the game.
2. If you or any other guest is under the impression that a woman presence in the room is directly affecting the outcome of the game, then she will quietly be escorted to the bathroom and instructed to wait there for the duration of the game. When all bathrooms are full, you can use the laundry room.
3. If you ask your girlfriend or wife to grab you a beer or food and she says “Do it yourself I’m watching the game,” you then have the right to ask her to name five starting players on each side of the ball and if she cannot answer, see rule 2.
4. If your girlfriend or wife is put in the bathroom by a friend of family member, she cannot give you shit about it.
5. If one of your girlfriends annoying single friends are there and is acting like a jacka$$, you can try to get her in the bathroom, but if she won’t go, scream at her and make fun of her physical appearance until she cries and never wants to talk to your girlfriend again.
6. After the game, if your girlfriend or wife makes any comment along the lines of “I don’t like the way you and your friends act when football is on. I don’t think she should ever do the Super Bowl here again.” Break-up with her!

Alright, now that you know these rules, the rest is fairly simple. Drink a lot of beer, eat all the wings, dip, and under-cooked meat your heart desires. And most importantly, enjoy the game, because when that clock hits zero and the confetti has all fallen, your Sundays will become nothing more than a shitty day before you have to go back to work. And it will be seven long months until the next time you and your friends can sit down together, crack open a beer, and watch kick-off.