What up bitches? I’m back. I hope you enjoyed Carlo’s edition of The Bachelor’s Guide. He gave some pretty sound advice on first dates. But as helpful as it was, the truth is, you’ve got to learn to crawl before you can run. So, that’s why this week, we are going to discuss the meat and potato’s of bachelor’s life. And that is, knowing how to talk to women.
Ok, it’s Friday night and your about to hit the town. There is going to be a lot of girls out, but don’t be nervous, I’ve prepared you for this. Your outfit is fresh, and you walk out of your bachelor’s pad, ready to fill up the contact list on your hoe phone. Now that I’m done self plugging, we can move on. (HA, that link wasn’t even in context. I’m awesome. Anyway.)
Seriously now, all joking aside, I don’t care what anyone says. One of the hardest things in the world to do is walking up to a complete stranger in a bar and saying hello. But as hard as we both know this is, it must be done. It is literally, the only way to start a conversation with a woman. If you glance at a girl, and see she is glancing back at you, do not hesitate because the staring game is only cute for about 13 seconds. Just walk over and say hello. DO NOT USE pick-up lines, or immediately offer to buy her a drink. It’s simple, just say, “Hi, my name is _______. How are you?” And trust me, if she is in to you, she will more than likely do all the talking from that point on.
Ok, new scenario. Your out with your peeps, and you happen to take interest in a girl who is hanging out within your circle of friends that night. Your chance of success has become significantly greater, because the awkward introduction was taken care of for you by your mutual friend. Do not be shy. If she is in your group, you have free reign to speak to her when ever you like. Just make sure you get there before someone else does. So if your starting to get a vibe, like she might be into you, just wait for that one moment when it appears that everyone is engaged in conversation except you and her, lean over and say, “So what do you do?” One you get her talking, keep her talking. Believe me, there is nothing that a woman loves more then the thought of a guy who is willing to sit a listen to her babble about the 7 million trivial, meaningless events that went on during her work week. But, make sure you really listening, because listening will make it a lot easier for you to involve your opinions on her mindless babble, making you a part of the story. That will give you countless opportunities to make her laugh, and making her laugh will give her countless reasons to give you her number.
Alright champ, I’m going to give you one more basic scenario and then you are on your own. This one I like to call ‘the hit or miss.’ It’s when you come into close contact with a random girl in a public setting. Example: store, coffee shop, fast food joint, etc. (You get the point). This is a tricky one. The up side is, your not in a bar so you don’t have any competition. The down side is, trying to hit on a chick on her way to work doesn’t always end so pretty. So my recommendation is, go balls to the wall, check your shame at the door, and take nothing she says to heart.
The key to this interaction is the way you open it. You’ve got to strike fast, you’ve got to strike hard, and you’ve got to strike funny. For example, the next you and a hot chick are approaching a counter at the same time, look over to her and say, “Hey, cut me in line if I’m the cutest guy you’ve seen all day.” If she does it, look to the person behind the counter and say, “My coffee’s on her. Thanks, I’m _____ by the way.” If she laughs and doesn’t cut you, say “That sucks, should I try again tomorrow morning?” and no matter what she says, you respond with “Well, you called me ugly, can you at least tell me your name?” And if she does, you turn to the person behind the counter and say, “Hey, so and so said my coffee is on her.” 9 times out of 10, this shit will probably not work. But it’s always fun to do, and you never know, you might be talking to that one girl who is waiting for something random to happen to brighten up her day.
Ok, that’s all for this weeks episode of ‘I need someone else to teach me how to grow up.’ I hope the advice I’ve given helps you, and remember, hit or miss, win or loose, do it with confidence, and do it with style. The more girls you talk to, the better you’ll get at it. So never stop trying.
Love, Brendan
Anything you want to know about and are afraid to ask anyone else? Emails are welcome! Feel free to send any and all questions to me at brendan.lyons@dogandponyshowwebsite.com.
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