Hi, this is Lauren and I’ll be filling in for your friendly bachelor Brendan this week. Seeing that most of Brendan’s posts are about how to get girls, I figured I could help out his followers with some insight and thoughts on what he has been telling you.
Let’s start with The Hoe Phone. Billy from Cleveland wanted to know how to juggle a new relationship and an old flame just in case the new relationship doesn’t work out. Trust me Billy, the new relationship won’t work if you talk to this old slut in front of your new lady. Take Brendan’s advice and purchase a Hoe Phone. Make sure it is never with you. She will look through it, trust me.
On to the Perfect Pad. Gentlemen, no girl wants to walk into a dirty, smelly, messy apartment. Please make sure you follow these great tips! We do not want to see pictures of half naked women on your wall. That’s so high school, college dorm room material. If that’s the time of girl you want to attract, be my guest. The couch must be comfortable. This is where we are going to want to cuddle with you and watch movies. If your lucky, this is where we will start with foreplay. Oh and please, no leather, our ass squeaks too much. A flat screen will impress the stupid girls. She’ll think you have a lot of money, so be my guest in getting one. Also, Brendan is spot on with the bed. A queen size or larger is ideal for those nights we sleep over. I know, and most other women do, that when we are finished with out business you like to have some alone time. You don’t want that girl all up in your shit. Get a bigger bed so she won’t be on top of you cuddling.
Christmas is over, but these great shopping tips will really win over your family and loved ones. Oh, and trust me, all women know how much you’ve spent. Waving something shiny in our faces isn’t going to change the fact that we will investigate how much you spent. But some girls, like me, don’t care what you’ve spent, but how much thought you put into the gift. Remember that.
Girls LOVE a man who can dress, that’s why Smart Shopping is the way to go. If a guy walks up to me in a bar with wrinkly jeans and a picture of Scooby Doo on his shirt, I’m going to turn the other way. Please save the graphic tee’s for bed. Don’t throw them away. The next girl who sleeps over is going to be looking for a shirt to wear to bed and this is the only things these shirts are good for. Sweaters look hot on a guy who is fit. I said fit! Not fat.
Carlo gave us an interesting perspective on first dates. He is right when he says that we don’t want to sit in your car all night looking for something to do. Please have something planned. Even if it’s a quick bite to eat, movies, or mini-golf, make the effort. it will pay off for you in the end. Also, please do not push a kiss. This may turn some women off. IF SHE WANTS TO KISS YOU, SHE WILL MAKE THE FIRST MOVE. Please read that sentence back to yourself before going on your next first date fellas.
Talking to us is quite simple. Don’t act like a fool and try to use lame pick-up lines because we’ve heard them all. They don’t work. None of them. So don’t think you are going to be Rico-Suave and use a new one, because it isn’t. Trust Me.
These are some of the great editions of The Bachelor’s Guide so far. Brendan has a lot of good advice that I agree with. So fellas, keep reading because this kid is going to get you places.
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